Oh Glory
by yourrecordsallilistento
Summary: Blaine had sat on the floor of his bathroom in his parents' house seeing the red liquid from his veins dribble through his hand, down his fingers and drip slowly onto the white tile.
1. The first time

**Warnings: **Selfharm, domestic violence and a tiny bit of smut. ANGST

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, any of their characters or anything that can be related to something that exists in the real word.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh Glory<strong>

Chapter 1 - The first time.

The first time Blaine Anderson thought about his sexuality, he was 6 years old. Though back then he hadn't realized that it was his sexuality he was actually thinking about. That day he had played with the girls on the playground since none of the boys allowed him to join their games. An unfamiliar boy had arrived to the benches near the playground holding hands with a beautiful woman. When the boy had looked at the other boys at the playground he had scrunched up his nose and continued searching the playground until he laid his eyes on a group of girls. He walked over to them and seemed surprised when he saw Blaine. Blaine had wondered if this boy had thought he was a girl because of his semi-long, curly dark hair. The boy had stretched his hand out to Blaine and introduced himself as Kurt. The boy had chestnut colored hair and huge blue eyes. He was the prettiest thing Blaine had ever seen. After Kurt had played with Blaine and the girls for a while he had told Blaine that he wanted to introduce him to someone. He had taken Blaine's hand, just like that, and dragged him over to the beautiful woman he had arrived with. Kurt had introduced Blaine to the woman as "my friend Blaine" even though they had only been playing for an hour or so. He then introduced the woman to Blaine as "my mommy Elizabeth". Kurt's mother had greeted Blaine and asked if he wanted to come over to their house and play with Kurt, and Blaine had said that he needed to ask his mom. When Kurt and his mom had wanted to come with Blaine and meet his mom, Blaine had told them that it wasn't a good idea and that they had to stay right where they were until he came back. Kurt had looked really sad when Blaine looked at him before crossing the playground to a picnic-table on the other side. He asked his mother if he could play at his new friend's house and she had asked if it was a boy this time, which Blaine had replied "yes" to. His mother had been quiet while tying her long, curly dark hair in a bun on the back of her head and then told him that it was alright, as long as neither her or Blaine's father had to pick him up later and that he had to feed himself that night. Blaine had promised and run back to Kurt and Elizabeth as fast as his legs would allow him. To his relief, they had still been there. Blaine followed them home and played with Kurt for hours and had even gotten dinner before it was time to get back home. He had thought about the distance on the way there: Kurt's house wasn't far from the playground, but his own house kind of was. He hadn't said anything to Kurt's family about that though, just said goodbye to them and walked the far way home alone in the dark. When he had arrived home his parents were already asleep so he went to bed. Before he fell asleep Blaine had thought about how much fun he had playing with Kurt that day. They liked the same things, things that the other boys had told him was "girl-stuff". He thought about how Kurt had made him smile, laugh and feel happier than he had ever felt before. He thought about how Kurt was the prettiest thing he had ever seen, even more than the girls that Blaine had never thought about before going to sleep. Blaine had decided that Kurt was his best friend and that he liked him even more than his own parents.

The first time Blaine had been bullied - like actually bullied and not just ignored -, was when he was eleven years old. All the other boys in school had started getting girlfriends and started kissing. Blaine had thought that the only kid he wanted to be more that friends with, and kiss, wasn't a girl. He was a boy that was taller than Blaine and had blonde hair and brown eyes, his name was Joshua. So he had asked Joshua at recess that day if he wanted to be Blaine's boyfriend. Joshua had told him "no way" and ran off. At lunch all the kids had found out and a boy who was a year older than Blaine had pushed him to the ground - so Blaine scraped his knees – and called him a "fag". Blaine had cried and skipped school the rest of the day and sat on a swing at the playground. He had thought about that day five years earlier when he had met Kurt at this playground. He had also thought about the day three years earlier when Kurt's mom had died and Kurt had switched schools and stopped playing with Blaine. He had cried on the swing too, before he went home and called his aunt Sarah to ask her what a "fag" was. She had told Blaine about gay people and that the word was a nasty name people used to be mean to gay boys. Blaine's aunt had asked Blaine if he thought he was gay, and Blaine had told her "yes". She had then went on to tell Blaine that that was perfectly okay and that he shouldn't listen to people who teased him and that he should call her anytime if he needed to.

The first time Blaine realized he was gay, was that same day while talking to his aunt.

The first time Blaine cut himself, he was fourteen years old. He had been bullied for three years because he was gay, or at least because all the kids at school thought he was (since he hadn't told anyone the truth). Since Blaine's dad was a doctor it had been easy for Blaine to steal a scalpel from his dad's briefcase without him giving it much thought, since he lost them pretty often. Blaine had sat on the floor of his bathroom in his parents' house seeing the red liquid from his veins dribble through his hand, down his fingers and drip slowly onto the white tile. At first he had felt happy again, for the first time since he had played with Kurt that time so many years ago. For a fraction of a second he felt like everything was right and that he could do anything. No school bully or homophobic family member could stop him from being who he is. No one could harm him, but himself. But that feeling disappeared as fast as it had come. He had rinsed his arm off, dried it with toilet paper that he flushed away and hidden the scalpel in his plastic pencil case in the bottom drawer of his nightstand. He had put on a sweatband that covered the red line and no one had asked him about it.

The first time Blaine got beaten by his father, he was also fourteen years old. Blaine had received a death-threat that day at school. When he had arrived home he had told his parents about it. His father had calmly asked why that had happened. Blaine told his parents about the bullying for the first time and the reason for it. Blaine's father had asked Blaine if that was the truth, if he in fact was a "fag" and Blaine had told his parents that he was gay. Blaine's father had told Blaine's mother to take a walk around the block, which she had done without a trace of concern on her face. Blaine's father had dragged Blaine by the front of his shirt into his room and thrown him to the floor. He had beaten Blaine twice in the stomach before punching him once over his eye and once on the side of his jaw. He had yelled at Blaine that he had twenty minutes to pack all things that he didn't want his dad to burn and get out of their house. He had then gone back into the living room to watch TV. Blaine had been stuck on the floor for a few minutes before he could even get up due to his aching stomach. He had taken his suitcase from under his bed and thrown a few pieces of clothing into it and then moved on to grabbing his favorite book and a few other belongings. The last things he had thrown into the suitcase were an old photo of him and Kurt on the slide at the playground and the plastic pencil case with the scalpel in it. He had closed his suitcase and run down the stairs where his father had yelled "three more minutes" from his place on the couch. Blaine had realized he had nowhere to go so he decided to call his aunt. He called her and told her about everything and she had promised to come pick him up and that everything was going to be okay.

The first time Blaine Anderson moved, was that same day when his father threw him out and he ended up moving in with his aunt.

The first time Blaine felt like he was able to breathe again, he was fifteen years old. He had lived with his aunt Sarah for a few months. He had started going to Dalton Academy, a school where bullying was forbidden and no one seemed to care that he was gay. There were even other gay boys there. He had gotten his own room again, after sharing with his five year old little cousin Lorily. Blaine had liked the fact that the tile in his bathroom was once again white and not gray like they were in his aunt's small apartment.

The first time Blaine felt happy again, he was sixteen years old. He had been walking to class when he was suddenly stopped by a boy on the staircase. They had introduced themselves and run hand in hand to the room where the Warblers were getting ready to perform. He had sung "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry and the boy who had stopped him - Kurt - had looked impressed. They had talked over coffee that day before Blaine got Kurt's number and gone back to his own school. They had talked about the fact that they were best friends for two years when they were kids and briefly about how their lives were now. When Blaine had gotten back to his room that evening he had cut himself. He did more than one line that time, which he had never done before. The first one was for himself and the second one was for Kurt, who had gotten bullied at his school.

The first time Blaine though about stopping the cutting, was when Kurt had transferred to Dalton. At first though, he had cut two red lines - which he did all the time now, one for himself and one for Kurt - because someone had actually threatened Kurt's life. But then he thought that maybe things would only get better from here. He had his best friend back. He hadn't actually stopped though.

The first time Blaine cut more than two lines on his arm, was the day that he realized he had been oblivious to Kurt's feelings about him and serenaded a guy that he didn't even know. He had thought that he deserved more than what he regularly did.

The first time Blaine realized he was in love, was when Kurt sang "Blackbird" to his dead pet canary out of his uniform, in his "normal" clothes while crying. Blaine had hummed along with the other Warblers at first but gotten lost in his mind. He had realized that Kurt was all he wanted. He stopped cutting Kurt's lines that day.

The first time Blaine kissed a boy, was when he had blabbered on in front of Kurt and the dead bird's coffin that Kurt was bedazzling. He and Kurt had become boyfriends that day and Blaine decided that he would stop cutting himself.


	2. Gay mommies and daddies

**Warnings: **Selfharm, domestic violence and a tiny bit of smut. ANGST

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, any of their characters or anything that can be related to something that exists in the real word.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh Glory<strong>

Chapter 2 - Gay mommies and daddies.

Blaine and Kurt were dating. Blaine was happy again. He had stopped cutting himself. Even though Kurt had gone back to McKinley. Because Blaine still had him. They texted and called each other every chance they got.

In the beginning of the summer break Kurt had gone with his family to visit Carole's sister for a week. On the third day of his absence (a Wednesday) Blaine was walking in the park near where his aunt's apartment was. He had moved back in with them over the summer when Dalton was closed. The park was empty so Blaine could hear his own footsteps against the gravel. It was warm and the sun was beaming so Blaine decided to go lye under the big oak tree at the end of the park. When he came closer to the tree the gravel pathway turned toward a picnic area where Blaine could see a young couple sitting with a blanket and a basket on the ground. Blaine took of his shoes and stepped into the grass and walked over to the tree. He turned his back against it, ready to sit himself down when he felt a hand on his upper arm. He turned around to see a man in a black jacket with the hood concealing his face. He felt a sharp pain in his gut and he looked down to see the man dragging a knife out of him. The man let go of Blaine's arm, leaned toward him and whispered "your father says hi". Blaine put his left hand over the red spot on his white t-shirt and watched the man run away in between the trees. _I've been stabbed! Oh good GOD, I'm gonna die! _Blaine fell backwards on the ground in the shadow of the big tree. _The picnic couple! They might help me. _

"I'M BLEEDING!" Blaine shouted as loud as he could and turned his head to look in the direction of the picnic area. He saw that the couple had stood and were staring at him, not moving.

"I'M GONNA DIE! HELP ME!" he yelled before he felt his eyelids starting to feel heavy.

But he opened them as wide as he could and saw that the couple was now running toward him.

"What happened?" the young man with wild brown hair asked and leaned down to take a closer look at Blaine.

"Someone stabbed me!" Blaine said and lifted his hand so that the man could see all the blood.

He heard the young woman with long blonde hair shriek and started to feel really cold. He saw the woman pick a cell phone from her pocket and call 911. The man had removed his shirt and was pressing it against Blaine's wound.

"What is your name?" the man asked him.

"Blaine Anderson." he replied.

"Blaine, you have to keep looking at me, okay? Until the ambulance get's here. My name is Jacob and this is Helena." the man said and gestured toward the young woman who was practically yelling into the phone where they were and that the ambulance had to hurry.

"Nice to meet you." Blaine said. _Now might not be the time to be dapper, you ass._

"The ambulance will be here any minute." the woman named Helena said and kneeled next to Blaine's head.

"Blaine. I am Helena. Do we need to call somebody for you? Your parents?" she asked and brushed a few curls off of Blaine's now sweaty forehead.

"My aunt Sarah." Blaine said weakly. "She is in my favorite contacts in my phone."

Blaine reached his not bloody hand into the pocket of his shorts and held the phone out toward the man named Jacob. He grabbed Blaine's iPhone and moved his fingers over the screen.

"Sarah Anderson?" he asked just to be sure.

Blaine nodded and fought to keep his eyes open. He forced himself to focus on Helena's necklace. It was a thin silver chain with a heart made out of some pink gemstone.

"Hello? Mrs. Anderson? My name is Jacob Matthews. Your nephew Blaine has been stabbed here in the park. Me and my wife are sitting with him waiting for the ambulance." Blaine heard Jacob say into the phone and at the same time they heard sirens approaching. "Here they are now. You should come to the Lima hospital as fast as you can. We'll follow Blaine there."

Blaine turned his head away from Helena's necklace and saw the ambulance stop on the grass a few meters away. Two men jumped out of it and rushed over to him.

"Blaine Anderson is it? How are you feeling?" one of the men asked and lifted Jacob's shirt off of Blaine's stomach to have a look. "James, get the stretcher!"

_I didn't see Jacob giving the duty of the shirt to Helena… Focus Blaine, the medic asked you something!_

"I feel cold. My eyelids are heavy." Blaine said and looked at the man.

He was now having a lot of trouble focusing on anything.

"We were having a picnic over there and didn't see what happened. We just heard him shout so we came over to help him. I called a relative of his, she is meeting us at the hospital." Jacob said.

Blaine closed his eyes. _SO tired… _Blaine felt himself being lifted into the air by three sets of hands and then down on the metal stretcher which felt cold through his t-shirt. He heard voices telling him to stay awake but he was so tired.

When Blaine woke up he didn't open his eyes. He could hear a beeping sound and feel the sterile smell of the room. _Where am I? I'm in the hospital… I got stabbed. Fuck! I have to call Kurt! No. I can't call Kurt. He shouldn't have to worry about this... I'll tell him later when I get out of here, when I am fine again. _Blaine opened his eyes and saw the faded white squares of the plastic tiles on the ceiling.

"Oh my God, Blaine! You are awake! How are you feeling?" he heard a familiar voice say.

Blaine turned his head and saw that is was his aunt Sarah. She was holding his left hand that was now blood-free but had a weird transparent wire in it.

"Auntie Sarah!" Blaine said and he felt really silly for some reason. "I'm fine. Where is Lorily?"

He saw his aunt press a red button next to the bed.

"She is at her father's place. I didn't want her to see you here. You are on pain meds, sweetie. Did you see who it was?"

"No… He had his hood on and we were in the shade. But he…"

A nurse came into the room. She looked at a monitor that seemed to show Blaine's heartbeat and another monitor that Blaine had no clue what it was for. She fixed the bed so that Blaine was sitting up with a huge fluffy pillow behind his back. The nurse left after doing something with a bag of clear liquid that was hanging next to Blaine's bed.

"He what, honey?" Sarah asked.

Blaine had to think for a moment before he remembered what they had been talking about.

"He said that my dad says hi." Blaine said.

His aunt gasped and put a hand over her mouth. Blaine could see her starting to cry.

"Did you call Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"No. Do you want me to?"

"No. I will call him. How long do I have to stay here?"

"The doctor said that you get to leave in two days if your wound looks good."

_Kurt won't have to worry, then. _

"I will stay with you tonight, until visiting hours are up. I have to work tomorrow but I think you will be fine. And you can call Lorily's dad if you need anything. I put his number in your phone. Peter Langston."

"Thank you. I am tired." Blaine said.

"You rest. I'll be here."

Blaine fell asleep and awoke a few hours later when there was a knock on the door. A tall white man with no hair and thick glasses came into the room. Behind him stood a police officer with buzzed black hair.

"Hello Blaine. My name is Dr. Scott. You were lucky, the knife didn't do much damage to any of your organs so you will be fine when the wound has healed. You will be discharged the day after tomorrow if your stitches look like they are healing properly. This is officer Bard, he would like a word with you." the bald man said before he left the room again without a word from either Blaine nor his aunt.

"Hello Blaine, Mrs. Anderson." the policeman said and dragged a chair out to sit himself next to Blaine's bed.

"It is Ms, actually." Sarah said.

"Pardon me. Now, Blaine. I would like you to tell me all that you can about what happened today." the man continued and took a small notebook and a pen out of his pocket.

Blaine told him everything he remembered and his aunt filled in with his past about how he was bullied at school and beaten by his dad.

"Well. It will be really difficult to find the criminal but we should at least be able to put out a restraining order on both parents." the officer said.

When the officer left, a nurse came into the room and told aunt Sarah that the visiting hours were over. She left after squeezing Blaine's hand. The nurse stayed and asked if Blaine needed anything.

"Can I order pizza or Chinese food into my room? And where is my phone?" he asked.

"You can if you want. Your phone and the other contents of your clothes when you got here are at the front desk, I can get them for you right away. Your clothes however are evidence for now." the nurse said and left, only to come back with a paper bag with Blaine's things in it just a minute later.

"Thank you." Blaine said before she left again.

Blaine took his phone out of the bag and dialed a restaurant nearby. He ordered a salad that they would come with to his room (he saw the room number through the glass next to the door). After he hung up he wrote a text to Kurt.

_B: Hi Kurt. How's your stay at Carole's sister's place?_

_K: Hi Blaine. BORING! No cousins, so I just have Finn to talk to while the "adults" talk amongst themselves. And he drives me insane!_

_B: I am sorry. =(_

_K: How are you doing?_

_B: Fine. I've been at the park today. Done some reading._

_K: Sounds relaxing. I miss you. 3_

_B: I miss you too. 3 I'll see you in four days though._

_K: Sunday seems so far away. We can have a sleep over that night? ;)_

_B: Sure. It will be awesome! =) I'm really tired now, but I'll call you tomorrow. Love you.  
>K: Love you. <em>

There was a knock on the door and a girl came in to deliver his salad. Blaine paid her with the bills he has in his wallet, which was also in the paper bag. He eats the salad after the girl leaves and then falls asleep.

The next day Blaine calls Kurt and they talk for hours, they are both bored out of their minds. Blaine tells Kurt nothing about where he is and why. They end the call when Finn begs Kurt to play a videogame with him. When they have hung up Blaine looks at pictures of Kurt in his phone. Slowly his eyes are dragged toward his wrist, where he feels an incredible itch. He puts down his phone and looks at all the lines on his left arm. Some faded, almost white and some more recent, still in tints of red and pink. Most are across his arm, from the base of his palm almost all the way up to his elbow and some - Kurt's lines - go along his arm, crossing the other ones. All the lines are old enough that they can't itch because they are still healing and Blaine feels the sudden urge to cut again. _My dad tried to have me killed. My own father wants me out of this world because I love someone of the same gender… Kurt is gone. Silly, it's just three more days. But he isn't here. It itches! No one of my "friends" from Dalton has contacted me since summer started. My mother hasn't contacted me at all. _Blaine scratches his arm with his fingernails that he hasn't cut in a while. After a few minutes his arm is red and the itch is slightly better. _What if Sarah saw my arm? No, she couldn't have. She would have said something. _Blaine doesn't get any visitors that day and no texts from Kurt. He falls asleep early.

The next morning when Blaine awakes Sarah sits next to the bed with a pile of clothes in her lap.

"Good morning, Blainey. The doctor will come look at your stitches in a few minutes and if they look good I'll take you home right away. Peter and Lorily are waiting at home. I brought some of your clothes." she says.

"Thanks, Sarah."

The doctor comes in and checks on Blaine's wound. He keeps his arm with the lines pressed into the mattress or the side of his body so the doc or his aunt won't see. The doctor says that he can leave right away but has to come back in about a week to remove the stitches. Sarah helps Blaine with the knots on the back of his paper hospital gown and then leaves Blaine's clothes on the end of the bed before she walks out of the room to give him some privacy. Blaine brushes his fingers lightly over the stitches on the side of his stomach - there were more than he expected, _must have been a wide blade_ - before he puts on a pair of dark blue Dalton sweatpants and a long-sleeved button up shirt in a similar color. He puts on his Converse but doesn't bother tying the laces. He pulls on a leather jacket that Sarah has hung by the door. _This must be something she bought for me or something Peter left at her place… _He leaves the hospital gown on the bed and puts the things from the paper bag in the pockets of his sweatpants. Then he walked into the hallway where his aunt was waiting.

"Good, the jacket fits you. There was a sale, I had to get it for you." she says but Blaine doubts it because it looks really expensive. "Let's go home, Blaine."

She drives them home and they don't speak much. Blaine asks if Kurt can sleep over on Sunday night and Sarah says that it is okay, but that they will have to make dinner by themselves since she is working the night shift.

They order pizza for dinner and eat it on the sofa in the living room while watching Shrek. Aunt Sarah and little Lorily fall asleep snuggled up under a blanket on the sofa. Blaine leaves them there and goes into his and Lorily's shared bedroom. He retrieves the plastic pencil case from the top shelf in his wardrobe and takes it with him into the bathroom. Blaine takes a shower to wash off the hospital smell. He winces when he puts his arms up to rub shampoo into his hair too fast and it pulls on his stitches. He finishes the shower more carefully. After he has dried his hair a bit he puts his glasses on and sits on the floor in just his boxers and leans his head against the cool glass of the shower door. He closes his eyes as he opens the pencil case and takes out the scalpel. He doesn't even keep any pencils in there anymore. He sits up a bit more and realizes that his hand is shaking. It itches SO bad. He focuses and presses the cold metal against his warm skin. His pulse is throbbing and his heart is beating hard against the inside of his ribcage as he drags the scalpel slowly across his arm. The blood comes a bit faster than Blaine is used to. _Maybe I'm just imagining it, it was three months since the last time after all… _Blaine tilts his head back against the glass again and closes his eyes. His breathing becomes slower and so does his heartbeat. After a minute he starts to feel like he is spinning so he takes the black towel he had prepared and presses it to his arm. He washes his hand and the scalpel and sits down next to the small pool of blood on the gray tile to wait for the bleeding to slow down. He presses his left arm against his chest and puts his right index finger in the blood. He writes his name with the blood, fascinated by the color of it. He writes Kurt's name and stops to stare at it. He feels guilty. _Kurt… Maybe I should tell him? But he would kill me! I'll tell him. Later... When I stop again. Whenever that will be… _His phone produces a tiny melody and Blaine wipes his finger on the towel and checks his phone.

_K: What are you doing, love?_

_B: Nothing special. Sarah and Lorily fell asleep on the sofa. _

_K: Aaww! How cute. I can't wait to be back home with you. _

_B: I can't wait for you to be here. I asked Sarah about Sunday and she said it was okay. But we have to make dinner, she works the night shift. _

_K: Well, I can make some pasta. With chicken! Yes. And we'll cuddle. =)_

_B: And eat ice-cream while watching a Disney movie. _

_K: YES! My turn to pick he movie. =)_

_B: Yes. Surprise me! =)_

_K: I will. But I have to go to bed. I'll call you tomorrow. Before I have to start packing again. _

_B: Do that. I love you. Sleep well._

_K: You too! 3_

Blaine stiffens as there is a knock on the door.

"Blaine, honey. Lorily needs to pee. You done?"

"I just took a shower. I'll be out in a minute." Blaine answers and wipes up the blood with toilet paper and flushes it down.

He rinses most of the blood out of the towel and drags it over the floor to erase all visible traces of blood. He bundles the pencil case in the bigger towel that he used after his shower and gets out of the bathroom. Sarah and Lorily walk in, after he gets out to throw the towels in the laundry bag. When he is back in the bedroom he puts the case back on the top shelf and puts his pajama pants on.

Lorily walks into the room and Blaine stops his search for a pajama shirt.

"What happened to your tummy Blainey?" she asks and walks up to him and stretches her hand out towards him. She doesn't touch the stitches, but drags the back of her fingers slightly above it.

"I…" Blain begins but doesn't know what to say.

"Does it hurt?" Lorily asks and steps back a bit, looking worried.

"No. Only if I put my hands over my head too fast." he says. "A bad man hurt me."

"Why?" she asks.

Blaine pulls the nearest t-shirt over his head, closes his wardrobe and sits down on his bed, patting his knee. She crawls up onto the bed and sits in his lap.

"Because I am gay." Blaine answers.

"What does that mean?"

"You know how mommies and daddies fall in love, right?"

"Yes. But sometimes they fall out of love too, like my mom and dad."

"Yes. Well… Your mom is a girl and your dad is a boy."

"I know." Lorily looks at Blaine until he continues.

"Well. When you are gay… If you are a girl, you like other girls. If you are a boy, you like other boys. Like I do."

"And fall in love with them?"

"Yes. You know Kurt who visited here a couple of weeks ago?"

"Yes. Your boyfriend."

"Right. Well, I fell in love with him. And he fell in love with me. We are both boys, gay boys."

"Aha." Lorily looks like she is thinking. "So your babies will have two daddies?"

"Yes." Blaine smiles.

"But why did someone hurt you because you love Kurt?"

"Well… Some people think it is wrong to be gay. And sometimes those people do bad things to people who are gay. Like the man who hurt me."

"I don't understand. Why?" Lorily looks angry now. _Adorable…_

"Me neither. Some people in this world are just like that."  
>"I love you. And I will never hurt you."<p>

"I know. I love you too. Now go to bed." Blaine says and smiles as Lorily gets into her own bed.

Blaine turns the lights off and gets into bed too. He falls asleep fast.

When Blaine wakes up on Saturday morning he can feel the smell of pancakes coming from the kitchen. He puts on a long-sleeved white v-necked t-shirt and walks out of the bedroom.

"Morning, Blaine. How are you this morning?" Sarah asks as she flips a pancake.

"Mommy, mommy! Someone hurt Blainey!" Lorily says before Blaine has time to say anything.

He sits down at the table and starts eating the pancake that Sarah had already put on the table for him.

"I know, honey." Sarah says. "That is why you had to be with your daddy the other day. I was with Blaine at the hospital."

"Blainey told me about gay mommies and daddies."

Blaine chuckles.

"Oh, did he now? And what did he say?" Sarah asks and gives Blaine another pancake.

"That his and Kurt's babies will have two daddies."

Sarah chuckles along with Blaine.

"And there are bad people in the world mommy, that don't like gay people."

"That's true. Even though it is really sad." Sarah says.

"Is that why you moved in with us, Blainey?" Lorily looks at him. "Because your mommy and daddy didn't like gay people?"

"Yes." Blaine says simply.

"Eat your pancake, darling." Sarah says and Lorily continues to eat.

Blaine spends the day playing games with Lorily, making them lunch and reading in the armchair in the living room while Lorily watches cartoons. Sarah comes back pretty early since she started work really early that morning. Blaine calls Kurt and Kurt rambles on about how bored he is and how much he can't wait to be back home. Blaine tells Kurt that he talked to his little cousin about what gay means the day before. Blaine has to end the call when Sarah peaks her head into the bedroom to tell him that dinner is ready. Sarah had made Blaine favorite soup, a curry-noodle soup. Sarah watches cartoons with Lorily while Blaine mows the lawn. He then works out and takes a jog so he will fall asleep fast. He wants tomorrow to come as soon as possible. Blaine doesn't cut himself after his shower that evening. He does falls asleep fast, the workout and jog did its job.

Blaine shoots out of bed early on Sunday morning. _How am I awake at seven in the morning?_ Sarah and Lorily sleep in until eleven. While he waited for them he took another jog and shower and cleaned up some in the apartment. He even made his bed. When they do wake up he makes the breakfast.

"I have to do some shopping before Kurt gets here tonight." Blaine says after swallowing a forkful of scrambled eggs.

"Okay. Remember the groceries. I will drop Lorily off at Peter's a bit before three and then go straight to work. I got a double shift so I won't be home until tomorrow morning."

"Okay. " Blaine says.

He makes a list of the things to buy. _Milk, eggs, pasta, chicken, ice-cream, water, tea bags… _He leaves the apartment at one and hurries through the grocery store. He then rushes to the nearest clothing store to buy a new shirt and a pair of black jeans. He walks out with a blue pair of jeans and four long-sleeved shirts more than he had planned on. He barely gets home in time to give Lorily a hug goodbye before they have to leave. When he lets go of her she starts crying.

"Lorily, baby. What is it?" he says and lifts her up.  
>He puts her weight on his hip and it kind of tears at his stitches, but he couldn't care less.<p>

"What if someone hurts you again? You have to stay home!" she cries. "And Kurt too!"

"Honey, I have been out for a jog twice and I was at the store and the mall today and nothing happened. I will be okay. Don't worry baby."

"Promise?" she sniffs and wipes at her eyes with her sleeve.

"I promise. Now go enjoy spending some time with your dad. Me and Kurt will be fine and we can play hide and seek with you when you get back here." Blaine says as he puts her down and wipes at her tear-stained cheeks with his big thumbs.

She smiles and Sarah waves at her to get in the car, so she does. Blaine waves as they drive away. He goes into the apartment and starts to put the groceries in the fridge. His phone makes him aware that he has a text message.

_K: SOOOOON! Almost there!_

_B: Good. See you soon, my love! 3_

_K: *swoon*_

Blaine finishes putting in the groceries and cuts the tags of the clothes he bought. He puts on the black jeans and a dark purple long-sleeved shirt. He puts in his contacts and tries to control his mop of curls. He gives up after a few minutes and folds the rest of the new clothes into his wardrobe. He walks around the apartment and does some last-minute cleaning before the doorbell rings.


	3. Not the whole truth

**Warnings: **Selfharm, domestic violence and a tiny bit of smut. ANGST

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, any of their characters or anything that can be related to something that exists in the real word.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh Glory<strong>

Chapter 3 - Not the whole truth.

He opens the door and is knocked to the floor with an "oomph". He winces as his stitches are stretched.

"HI BLAINE!" Kurt almost shouts.

"Hi Kurt." Blaine says and laughs at his boyfriend's enthusiasm. "Are we just gonna lie here on the flo-"

He gets cut off by Kurt pressing his lips to his own. Blaine relaxes and puts a hand on the side of Kurt's face. A car honks outside.

"I should get my bag!" Kurt says and jumps off of Blaine and runs back to the car.

Blaine gets up, wincing a little more but laughs when Kurt comes skipping back towards him. Blaine waves at Burt, Carole and Finn in the car when they drive away. Kurt walks inside and drops his bag by the couch.

"You look nice today, Blaine. But how can you wear a long-sleeved shirt in June?"

"Thank you, Kurt. You look amazing, as per usual. We have air-conditioning and aunt Sarah likes it colder than I do. I got ingredients for dinner."

Blaine watches Kurt as he walks into the kitchen in his shorts that fit just right and a black, bedazzled, pretty tight tank-top. Kurt's hair is flawless as usual and Blaine can't wait to ruin it later tonight.

"Hey! Eyes up here!" Kurt laughs and points to his face.

Blaine blushes and walks over to him. They make the chicken pasta together and eat it with candles lit on the table.

"Did you miss me?" Kurt asks.

"Hmm, I have to think about that one. YES!" he smiles.

_I should tell him about what happened. He is gonna ask later when he sees my stitches. I'll tell him tonight, just not now…_

"Did you like the pasta?" Kurt asks then.

"Yes. Did you?"

"I did. What kind of ice-cream did you buy?"

"Cookie dough for me and raspberry for you."

"Ah, you know me so well."

"Indeed I do. What movie did you choose?"

"You'll see."

They finish dinner and bring the ice-cream, two spoons and all the candles into the living room. Blaine gets a blanket while Kurt put's the DVD in the player. Blaine recognizes the music as he gets under the blanket on the sofa.  
>"The Little Mermaid!" Kurt smiles and joins him under the blanket.<br>They watch the movie cuddled up together under the blanket, eating their ice-cream and singing along to the music. They kiss and feed each other ice-cream occasionally. They finish their ice-cream and Kurt goes to the bathroom while Blaine puts the spoons in the dishes and the ice-cream tubs in the recycling. They watch the rest of the movie and when the credits start rolling Kurt throws the blanket onto the floor and pushes Blaine into the cushions of the sofa. He straddles him and starts kissing his neck. Blaine hums in the back of his throat.

"We are going to get sick of the menu-music looping." Blaine whispers.

Kurt leans back and looks at Blaine, his eyes dark.

"Let's move to the bedroom then, shall we?" he says.

They practically run into the bedroom. Now it is Blaine's turn to push Kurt down into the softness beneath them, straddling him. They kiss and sigh happily into each other's mouths. They smile and clank their teeth together which only make them smile even more. Blaine moves his mouth to whisper sweet nothings into Kurt's ear and the boy whimpers beneath him. Blaine kisses the spot right below his ear and grazes Kurt's earlobe gently with his teeth. Kurt groans and Blaine does too. Blaine then sits back and tugs at the bottom of Kurt's tank-top. Kurt leans forward and Blaine brings it over Kurt's head and throws it on the floor. He takes a few seconds to admire Kurt's hairless, pale chest. Kurt leans forward again and tugs on the bottom of Blaine's shirt. Blaine hesitates but let's Kurt slide it off and throw it on the floor too. _I'll keep my arm under him so he can't see the lines. That has worked the other times… And I am going to tell him about the cut on my stomach tonight anyway. _He leans down again and kisses Kurt, sliding his tongue gently across Kurt's lower lip. Kurt takes in a breath through his mouth and Blaine sees his chance. They duel their tongues for a little while, fisting each other's hair. Kurt makes a noise in protest when Blaine let's go but makes another sound, one of approval, as Blaine starts to kiss down his jaw and neck. Blaine leaves a small mark on Kurt's left clavicle. He looks at it and smiles. He continues to kiss down Kurt's chest, paying extra attention to both of Kurt's nipples with his tongue. Blaine kisses his way down Kurt's stomach and when he reaches Kurt's waistband he licks from hipbone to hipbone right above it.

"Pants. Off. Now!" Kurt's says with a raspy voice.

Blaine crawls down to Kurt's feet and pulls his shorts and boxers down in one swift motion. Kurt giggles as Blaine scoots down the bed and stands up at the foot of it. He pulls his jeans and boxers off while watching Kurt waiting for him on the bed. Kurt licks his lips and Blaine practically jumps back over him. He puts his left arm underneath Kurt's body and grinds his erection into Kurt's. They groan, rubbing together for a long time. Blaine kisses Kurt's neck and leaves a mark on his right clavicle too. Kurt suddenly rolls them over and straddles Blaine. He leans down to whisper in Blaine's ear while grinding his hips down.

"I want to fuck you." Kurt whispers and Blaine just groans in response.

Blaine points wordlessly to his nightstand where Kurt digs out some lube and gets his fingers wet. He lies down leaning his chest against the side of Blaine, one arm under his head and nudges Blaine's legs apart with his hand. Blaine spreads his legs, throwing one over Kurt's and bends the other to put his foot flat against the mattress.

He hisses and then lets out a groan as Kurt works his fingers inside him. They kiss and Kurt leaves a few marks of his own. One behind Blaine's ear, one in the dip of his throat and one next to his nipple. When Kurt thinks that Blaine is ready he gets between his legs and looks Blaine in the eyes as he sinks into him. Blaine moans loudly and wraps his legs around Kurt's waist to bring him even closer. They move in sync, fitting together perfectly for what feels like hours. Blaine claws at Kurt's beautiful pale back, sure to leave red lines from his nails. He winces at the thought though. _I don't want to ruin his perfect, soft skin… _Kurt stops moving and looks at him. Blaine just angels his head back and moans, so Kurt continues. They come together, chest to chest, forehead to forehead and lips on lips. They ride it out together and fall into a heap of limbs. After lying in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Kurt suggests a shower. They shower together, Kurt rubbing shampoo into Blaine's hair. When they are clean and dry back in bed in boxers only , Blaine has his left arm safely behind Kurt's body while the boy leans against him. Blaine pets the small of Kurt's back and rubs circles there. Kurt traces a finger in shapeless patterns on Blaine's chest (that is darker than Kurt's even though Kurt has never seen him tanning).

"I'd say this was our best time yet." Blaine says and smiles up at Kurt.

Kurt brushes a few still damp curls from Blaine's forehead and says "You have said that every time."

"Yeah, but I really mean it this time. Holy hell!" Blaine exclaims.

"Language." Kurt says.

"You're one to talk." Blaine says and winks at Kurt, who blushes.

Kurt has now moved his pattern-making finger down to Blaine's stomach. He feels something weird so he looks down.

"What is this?" Kurt says and sits up, but bends his back so he can look at Blaine's stomach closely.

"Stitches." Blaine says so quietly that he doubts Kurt will hear it.

"I see that! Why? What happened?" Kurt practically yells.

"Come here." Blaine says and pulls Kurt back down to lye beside him. "I have to tell you something."

"Yeah, you do." Kurt says angrily but Blaine can hear the fear in his voice.

"You know how my dad did not like me being gay?" Blaine begins.

"Yes. He threw you out so you moved here." Kurt says.

"Yes, but that is not the whole story. He beat me."

Kurt gasps.

"I got 20 minutes to pack my things. I moved in here with aunt Sarah… This Wednesday when I was at the park a man stabbed me."

"Wh- what?" Kurt asks and Blaine can feel Kurt's rapid heartbeat against his side.

"I was in the hospital for two and a half days. The knife didn't do any real damage so they just stitched me up and let me on my way."

"What does that have to do with your dad beating you?"

"Well, the man that stabbed me told me that my dad says hi. My dad probably sent someone to hurt me."  
>"Or kill you!" Kurt yelled and started sobbing against Blaine's chest.<p>

"Shhh. I'm fine, Kurt. Don't cry, baby." Blaine cooed and combed through Kurt's hair with his fingertips.

"I'm fine, okay? I'll just have a scar. That is supposed to be sexy, right?"

Kurt continued sobbing and pressed his face into the space between Blaine's neck and shoulder.

Blaine continued to pet Kurt's hair and used his other hand to draw shapes on Kurt's hip.

"The police fixed a restraining order. So I shouldn't be in any danger."

"Shouldn't!" Kurt croaked and put his arms around Blaine's torso, trying to squeeze them into one being.

Blaine moved up into a sitting position, moving Kurt into his lap. He cradles him to his chest and starts rocking them lightly back and forth while whispering things to Kurt. "I'm fine. It won't happen again. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. Don't cry, baby. Calm down. I love you._"_

After about an hour Kurt has calmed down.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he sniffs.

They are lying on their sides, face to face with legs tangled together.

Blaine uses his right hand - that isn't hidden behind Kurt - to brush Kurt's tears away with his thumb.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to worry you. I was going to be fine. And if I had, you would have made your dad drive back here immediately."  
>"You were stabbed Blaine!" Kurt snaps.<p>

"I know. I'm sorry. But no one had contacted you until I did, and by then I already knew I was going to be just fine. Aunt Sarah should have called you right away, though."

Kurt doesn't say anything. Blaine takes his chin gently in his hand.

"I'm fine. I love you." he whispers and kisses Kurt softly.

They fall asleep in each other's arms, whispering "I love you" and "Don't ever leave me".

Blaine wakes up before Kurt, his left arm still underneath him. Kurt is lying on his back, arms and legs out like a starfish. His face is tilted towards Blaine, lips slightly parted. Blaine brushes a few strands of hair from Kurt's forehead and starts to trace patterns on his stomach. He writes "Blaine", "I love you" and "Kurt" on Kurt's pale stomach. Blaine's brain reminds him of when he wrote their names in his own blood on the tile floor of the bathroom. He shivers and Kurt stirs, rolling up into a ball. Blaine pulls the covers over Kurt and gets out of bed. He puts on the same dark purple shirt as the day before. _Fashion be damned!_ He does change into a pair of blue jeans though. He walks into the kitchen singing "Candles" under his breath. He makes waffles and when he has a decent pile on a plate he walks back into the bedroom. He leans down and kisses Kurt's exposed neck. Kurt shivers and gets adorable goose-bumps all across his skin.  
>"Wake up, babe. I made you waffles." Blaine whispers.<p>

"Watse time?..." Kurt mumbles.

"It is about eight." Blaine answers and pulls the covers off of Kurt.

Kurt whines but gets up.

"I thought you were the morning person, and I wasn't?" Blaine says and giggles when Kurt puts on his shorts backwards.

"You didn't sob for an hour last night."

"What are you gonna have the zipper on your but for?" Blaine asks and Kurt looks down.

"Crap."

"I'll be waiting for you in the kitchen." Blaine says and walks back in there to save the last waffle from getting burnt.

Blaine gets whipped cream, jam and sugar and puts it all on the table. He cuts a waffle into a heart and puts it on the plate opposite of his own. He then puts a glob of whipped cream - which he has made pink, using food coloring - in the middle. Blaine grins wildly when Kurt walks into the kitchen, also wearing the same clothes as the day before and sits down. He smiles at Blaine when he sees his plate.

"You are so cheesy." Kurt says but he gives Blaine an adoring look.

"Which is part of why you love me."

They eat their waffles and talk about what they are going to do that day. Blaine suggests staying inside the apartment all day, eating more ice-cream and watching more Disney-movies. _Then I won't have to sweat like a pig in my long-sleeve outside. _Kurt says they can't stay in on a perfect summer day. Blaine suggests going to Kurt's house. _They also have air-conditioning… _Kurt uses the same argument again. Blaine suggest going to the park but Kurt refuses due to what happened to Blaine there a few days before.

"We can go to the mall?" Kurt suggests.

_Air-conditioning!_

"Sure. What are we going to do there?"

"There is always shopping to be done! You could use a few pieces of clothing that don't have long sleeves, for example."

They go to the mall where Kurt drags Blaine in and out of the stores. He makes Blaine try on a bunch of t-shirts and tank tops. Blaine keeps his arms glued to the sides of his body the whole time. They buy a bunch of the clothes for him and then start looking for clothes for Kurt. Blaine loves to watch Kurt burst out of the changing rooms, arm stretched out as if to say "TADA!". They buy some extravagant clothes for Kurt. The whole day they ignore people looking at them when they occasionally hold hands while walking from store to store. When Kurt is satisfied with the shopping they go to the Lima Bean to get coffee and then they restock ice-cream for later that day (Blaine also buys a tub of chocolate flavor that he knows Lorily likes). When they get back to the Anderson apartment Sarah and Lorily are there too. Blaine and Kurt spend the day playing with Lorily (one of the games being hide and seek, just like Blaine had promised her earlier) while Sarah does some errands. In the evening they decide that Kurt will stay over one more night. Sarah sits with Lorily in her lap in the armchair, so Blaine and Kurt snuggle up on the sofa. They watch "The Lion King" and eat the ice-cream together. When the movie is over Sarah turns the TV off and she and Lorily goes to bed, while Blaine and Kurt stay cuddled up in the sofa, finishing their tubs of ice-cream.

"Kurt?" Blaine says into the silence.

"Yes?"

"I have been thinking." Blaine says and notices the panicked look on Kurt's face. "NO no, no."

Kurt takes a deep breath. "About what?"

"About transferring to McKinley."

Kurt looks absolutely shocked.

"I want to spend all day with you, I want to get to know your friends better and I want to get out of the cage that is Dalton."

"That is not all, is it?" Kurt asks and raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"No… I want to stand up to the bullies, like I didn't have the guts to do at my old school."  
>"You won't be safe at McKinley, Blaine."<br>"I know. But then either are you. If I am there, we will at least have each other."

"Well, I would love to have you there. I think you will be safer at Dalton and get a better chance at collage if graduating from there, but it is your choice in the end."

"I think I have decided already."  
>"To transfer?"<p>

"Yes."

Kurt squeaks and wraps his arms around Blaine in a tight embrace. They talk about what Blaine should wear for his first day, how he should burn all his hair-gel (or at least throw it away), how they are going to ride together every morning, how Blaine should always keep an extra set of clothes in his locker AND in the car, how Blaine wants to join the football team, how Kurt thinks Rachel will be furious about Blaine getting solos and how they thinks things are going to go with Karofsky.

"Do you think he is in love with me?" Kurt asks.

"I do. If not, kissing you was rather odd."

"Then, how do you think he will react when I walk around holding hands with you?"

"He might get jealous and angry, and go back to his pre-Bully Whips-ways. Or he might be sad for a while, but then see that you are happy and realize that he can be too. He might even come out."

"Maybe."

"Should we try to be friends with him?"

"I would do that if he wanted too. He is probably lonely."

"Yeah. I love how you are willing to do that for him even after what he put you through."

"Well, he did apologize. And he hasn't done anything since I came back. I can imagine how he feels, I feel sorry for him. I think our biggest worry will most likely be Azimio."


	4. Summer fun

**Warnings: **Selfharm, domestic violence and a tiny bit of smut. ANGST

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, any of their characters or anything that can be related to something that exists in the real word.

**Message: Here is chapter 4, hope you like it. Kinda fluffy, I guess.**

* * *

><p><strong>Oh Glory<strong>

Chapter 4 – Summer fun.

Blaine and Kurt spend almost all of their time together during the following weeks.

A week and two days after Blaine's stabbing Kurt follows him to the hospital to get the stitches removed. Blaine doesn't need to put on a gown or anything, he just lays on an examination table and lifts his shirt up a bit so the nurse can cut the stitches and pull the plastic threads out. She informs him that the few stitches that were needed inside of his body are of a natural material, so they will dissolve when the wounds inside have healed. When the nurse leaves the room Kurt drags his finger over the skin on Blaine's stomach. It is still a reddish line that sticks out a tiny bit.

"You won't be able to feel it in a few months, and it will fade into a white line in time." Blaine states.

"Did they tell you that when you were here last time?" Kurt asks.

_No, I just have experience with wounds and scars. _"Yes."

A day in the beginning of July they were lying on the grass in the backyard of the Hummel-Hudson household looking at the fluffy clouds. Blaine pointed to every other cloud and told Kurt what he thought they looked like. Kurt didn't see what Blaine saw, he thought all the clouds looked like cotton candy, which he told Blaine. Blaine just laughed and leaned his head against Kurt's. They were lying on their backs, legs pointing in opposite directions. Blaine had his ear against Kurt's hair, where he imagined he could hear his thoughts. Carole called them in for dinner and they shared a soft kiss in the grass before getting up to go inside.

About a week after the cloud-spotting (the 15th) they were on a date a few minutes outside of Lima. Kurt had paid for dinner at a restaurant and then their coffee at the Lima Bean. He had then driven them to a patch of forest where he dragged Blaine in. They walked into a clearing and Kurt spread out a big green blanket. There were no clouds this evening, so they could see the stars perfectly. Kurt had brought a mysterious basket that Blaine had tried peeking into, but Kurt had stopped him.

"What is in there? Is it a puppy?" Blaine said and pointed to the basket.

Kurt huffed. "No. Do you really think I would bring a poor puppy in a tiny basket?"

"No, but… Then what is it?"  
>"You know what day it is today." Kurt said, it wasn't a question.<p>

"Our four month anniversary." Blaine answered.

"Yes, which is why we went on a date today. It is also the reason why I brought strawberries and champagne!"

Kurt picked a bottle of champagne and two glasses out of the basket. He then told Blaine to take the box of strawberries out of the basket too. Blaine did so and was surprised to find a tube of chocolate sauce lying next to it.

"Kurt, what is the chocolate sauce for?" Blaine asked and blushed a bit.

"Get your mind out of the gutter. I wanted to bring melted chocolate that we could dip the strawberries in, but it hardened before I had even gotten it from the stove to the basket. So I brought that instead, it was the closest thing we had in the house."

"Oh, that is so sweet, Kurt."

"You are not the only romantic in this relationship." Kurt smiled and poured them some champagne (which was of course alcohol free).

They toasted to the best four months of their lives and all the best months of their lives to come. They fed each other strawberries and kissed. They made love right there on the blanket and the chocolate sauce did actually come in handy for that too. Afterwards they were lying shoulder to shoulder and looking at the stars.

"That is Andromeda." Kurt informed Blaine and pointed at the sky.

After about an hour they packed up and went back to Kurt's house to have a sleepover. Burt and Carole were visiting Carole's sister again and Finn had a sleepover at Rachel's house, so Blaine and Kurt got the whole house to themselves. They watched "Brokeback Mountain" and cried together at the end. They promised each other eternity and made love on Kurt's bed again before they fell asleep in each other's arms.

In the end of July Blaine and Kurt decided to go to the playground where they met when they were six. Kurt still lives in the same house so it isn't far at all. Aunt Sarah's apartment is a few blocks away, in the opposite direction of where Blaine's parents live. _Or maybe lived? Are they still there? _The boys sit down on the edge of the sandbox.

"Do you think my parents still live there?" Blaine asked and drew shapes in the sand with his foot.

"Oh. I hadn't thought about that… Wouldn't that be breaking the restraining order though? Since your aunt lives so close."

"Perhaps."  
>"Maybe we shouldn't be here."<p>

"Yes, we should. We have to be able to go wherever we want without being afraid."

"That doesn't change the fact that we are afraid though."

"No… Do you remember the day we met here?" Blaine changes the subject.

"Of course I do."

"I remember you looked so surprised when you came up to me and the girls. Did you think I was one of them?"

Kurt chuckles. "I did actually. But then I was happy you weren't. I thought you might be different from the other boys, like I was."

"I was different. That is why we had so much fun. Did you know back then that you were gay?"

"Well… I was only six, so I didn't know about sexualities and stuff at all, at that point. But I had never been interested in the girls like the other boys were. I only wanted to play with them cause they liked tea-parties and Disney-movies like I did."

"Same as me then. And I remember thinking that you were the prettiest thing I had ever seen."

"That is sweet."

Kurt leaned over and kissed the tip of Blaine's nose. They talked for a while and walked around the playground. They tried to fit into the swings and the slide but they had grown too much since the age of six, they tried climbing on the monkey-bars but they were too tall and they tried to make sandcastles but they didn't have any tools. So they walked back to Kurt's house hand in hand.

The first weekend of August Blaine was sitting on his bed with Kurt, shoulder to shoulder with their backs to the headboard. Aunt Sarah was giving Lorily a bath so they had a few minutes to themselves.

"What do you want to do today?" Kurt asked and interlaced their fingers.

"I don't know really. It is kind of cold out today, considering the season. Maybe we could go outside somewhere?"

"Do you want to go to the park? It used to be your favorite place to go when we had nothing to do and just wanted to relax together. I totally understand if you don't though."

Kurt looked at Blaine. He looked both cautious and curious.

"I can ask dad and Carole to have a picnic there. They will be able to see us the whole time, but not hear us talking." Kurt said.

"Did you tell them about what happened to me?"

"Of course I did, Blaine. They care about you SO much. But I told them not to mention it when you are around, since I know that you might not want to talk to them about it yet. I know you are strong, but you are also so guarded, even to us who love you."

"Yeah… I guess. I think we can go, if they come too." Blaine said and looked away from Kurt.

"Blaine, look at me."

Blaine did.

"Blaine. Don't guard yourself from me. You can tell me anything. If you don't want to go, we won't. Okay?"

"I know. I'm sorry. I want to go. As you said, I did love it there. But I am scared. What if dad will send someone else to get me?"

Kurt looked truly upset at the use of the phrase "get me".

"If you decide that we go, I will be with you. And they will be close. I want you to be okay with the park."  
>"I do to. Then we'll go. Will you call Burt?"<p>

Kurt took out his phone and made the call. Blaine stood up and looked at Kurt until he let go of his hand. He walked into the living room where Sarah was helping Lorily dry her hair after the bath.

"Blainey!" Lorily squeaked. "Will you braid my hair?"  
>"Sure, Lori. Go get your hair bands, so I can have a talk with your mom real quick?"<p>

"Okay." the girl said and skipped into the bedroom where Blaine heard Kurt saying goodbye to his dad and helping Lorily find the hair bands.

"Is something the matter, darling?" aunt Sarah asked.

"Nah. Well, me and Kurt are going to the park."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I used to love that park. Both Kurt and I did. And I can't avoid it forever. And Burt and Carole are going to be there and have a picnic so they can see us."

"I see. Do you want me and Lorily to have a picnic too?"

"No, it's okay."

"As long as you are sure. If you get uncomfortable you should come back, though."  
>"I will Sarah. Thank you."<br>Lorily ran back into the room, Kurt walking behind her smiling. Blaine braided Lorily's hair and Kurt teased him lovingly about it, but helped him. When they were done Lorily ran into the bathroom to look. They heard her squeak and then she came back to hug them.

Kurt and Blaine left Sarah and Lorily in the apartment and went back to the Hummel-Hudson home. Kurt helped his mother-in-law pack a basket while Blaine sat with Burt in the living room watching a re-run of a football-game.

"You okay, kiddo?" Burt asked but kept his eyes on the TV.

"Terrified. But I'll be fine."

At that, Burt turned his head and looked at Blaine.

"I won't let anything ever happen to you again. As long as you are with Kurt, you are family."

Blaine didn't know what to say.

"Thank you, sir."  
>"Blaine. I told you to call me Burt."<p>

"Sorry, Burt. But really, thank you. I imagine picnics are not your favorite activity in the world?"  
>"No. But if Carole enjoys it and it makes you feel better then I will gladly do it."<p>

Carole and Kurt walked out of the kitchen. They all got in Kurt's car and drove to the park. When they stepped onto the gravel path Blaine cringed at the sound, remembering. Kurt saw him but said nothing, just bumped their shoulders together. When they got to where the path turned toward the picnic area, Carole told them to come get her and Burt if they wanted to go home or have some snacks. Burt and Carole put out a blanket -_ luckily_ _not the green one me and Kurt had _- and sat down. Blaine and Kurt stood still on the path but proceeded to remove their shoes. Kurt brushed Blaine's knuckles with his fingers and Blaine grabbed on to his hand. They stepped into the grass and Blaine cringed again, followed by a deep breath.

"Tell me what you are thinking. How you feel. Tell me what you remember, if you want."

They walked toward the big tree. Blaine shivered when they stepped into its shadow.

"I don't… I don't want to have my back against the tree." Blaine stated.

"Was that how you stood when…"  
>"He grabbed my upper arm and turned me around. I didn't have time to react before I looked down and saw him drag the knife out of me."<p>

"I won't grab your arm, then. And we can both lye on our backs in the grass?"

Blaine let go of Kurt's hand and sat down, facing the tree. Kurt laid down on his back beside him. Blaine put his hands in the grass behind him, leaning against them. Kurt stroked his leg with his foot.

"I'm not that afraid to be here." Blaine said after a while.

"How come?"

"I'm not afraid of what my dad, or anybody will do to me. I am just afraid of how you would feel if something happened to me, or how I would feel if someone hurt you."  
>Kurt said nothing, just kept stoking Blaine's leg. Blaine took a deep breath and laid down next to Kurt. He nudged Kurt's arm with his forehead and Kurt lifted his arm so Blaine could snuggle up to his side and put his head on his chest. <em>It feels safe here. Kurt is so warm. <em>

After a while Blaine asked Kurt where Finn was today and then their chat went on to New Directions and then on to everything between them and the moon. After a couple of hours they heard Burt shouting from the picnic area.

"You boys ready to go home? Carole needs to get started with dinner and my old body is not having much more of this sitting around."

Kurt and Blaine got up and met Burt and Carole on the gravel path. While they drove home nobody mentioned Blaine's experience in the park that day.

Later that night they are on Kurt's bed in the same position they were in at the park. Kurt is combing through Blaine's curls with his fingers and Blaine is dragging his index finger back and forth across Kurt's stomach.

"Was it better or worse than you thought?" Kurt whispers.

"Better. I was mostly nervous and thought back on that day. But when we got to talking it felt just like the times before, when we were just enjoying our day in the park."

"Good."

There was a knock on Kurt's door. Kurt told the knocker to come in. It was Burt.

"Okay, boys. Carole and I are going to bed. You should too, today was… a day."

"We will, dad."

"Goodnight boys." Burt said.

"Goodnight dad." Kurt said.

"Goodnight dad." Blaine said.

Blaine heard both Kurt and himself insert breaths harshly. Burt stopped mid-step with his mouth open, but closed it fast. He nodded at them and left.

"Well, that was awkward." Blaine said and buried his face under Kurt's arm.

"Get out of my smelly armpit!" Kurt said and moved a bit so Blaine put his head back on his chest. "And well, I don't think any of us were expecting that."

"Least of all would be me." Blaine said.

"It was nice. I think dad will be happy that you said that. He might start to understand how great a father he is."

"He really is nice. And I haven't had a dad since I was fourteen."

"I understand."

"Your armpit isn't smelly by the way. It smells like roses, just like the rest of you." Blaine said and sniffed Kurt's neck and face like a dog, while crawling up Kurt's body.

Kurt giggled. "You brought pajamas?"

"Just a shirt. Can you lend me some sweatpants? I'm not really comfortable sleeping in my boxers at your house yet."

Kurt poked Blaine's chest and Blaine rolled off of him, onto his back. Kurt stood and started looking for pants that Blaine could wear. Blaine just looked at him while he did so. _He is gorgeous. I don't understand how he is so understanding about today. Or yeah, I do. 'Cause he is perfect. I can't believe he is mine. I am never letting him go. I will never let anything happen to him._ Blaine stood and got rid of his pants. He took his sleep-shirt out of his bag next to the bed and changed into it as fast as he could. He walked up behind Kurt - who had finally pulled a pair of sweatpants out of a drawer - and circled his hips with his arms. Blaine put his chin on Kurt's shoulder and angled his head so his nose was practically in Kurt's ear.

"I love you. I am never letting you go." he whispered.

Kurt giggled. "That tickles. Here are the pants. Now get in my bed!"

Blaine yanked the pants on and pretty much threw himself onto the bed. He turned to his side, waiting for Kurt to come be the big spoon. Kurt did so and whispered back to Blaine: "I love you too."

They snuggled for a few minutes.

"How are you not sweating in a long-sleeve?" Kurt asked.

"No covers... Need sleeves. 'Night Kurt... Love you." Blaine mumbled.

Kurt smiled against Blaine's hair. "Dream of me, Blaine. I love you too."

Blaine fell asleep almost instantly and Kurt sneaked his hand underneath Blaine's shirt to trace his fingers across the scar on Blaine's stomach, he could barely feel it now.

"_Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around…_" Kurt sang softly into Blaine's hair.

He shifted a bit to get even closer and eventually fell asleep too.

* * *

><p><strong>The next chapter will be the last, I think. <strong>  
><strong>It will be full of angst and a bit of fluff (perhaps some smut). <strong>

**I'll try to have it up in the next 2-3 days. **

**I would be SO happy if you would please review, so I can get better at writing. :)**


	5. Too deep

**Warnings: **Selfharm, domestic violence and a tiny bit of smut. ANGST

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, any of their characters or anything that can be related to something that exists in the real word.

**Message: Here is the last chapter. I hope you like it. It kinda goes like this: Fluff, fluff, smut and then ANGST. **

* * *

><p><strong>Oh Glory<strong>

Chapter 5 – Too deep.

On the 15th of August Blaine went over to Kurt's house in a brand new long-sleeved shirt that had a line diagonally from hip to shoulder, black on the bottom and a really dark blue on top. _Kurt is going to LOVE this shirt._ He was also wearing a pair of fitted black jeans and a pair of white dress-shoes that Kurt had picked out for him. Blaine had bought a bouquet of sunflowers that he was hiding behind his back. He rang the bell and waited. The door opened before Blaine even had time to take a step back.

"Hi Blaine!" Kurt's smiling face said.

"Hello, love. I brought these for you." Blaine said and moved the bouquet of flowers from behind his back.

"Oh, Blaine. They are beautiful!"

Kurt took the flowers and kissed Blaine on the cheek.

"I thought you might think so. You should put them in water before we leave." Blaine smiled.

"Where are you taking me?" Kurt asked and went inside to find a vase to put the sunflowers in.

"It's a surprise." Blaine answered and followed him inside the door. "You look gorgeous."

Kurt was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a black v-necked t-shirt with a silver print on it, in the shape of an engagement-ring. His hair was flawless - _as it always is_ - and his skin seemed even smoother than usual.

"Thank you. It is kind of casual, but I know you like that, so…"

"I really do."

"Those jeans look good on you. And I see you took the shoes I picked out for you. That is sweet."

Blaine just smiled at Kurt, who put the vase on the living room table.

"I'm ready. Let's go." Kurt said and brushed some imaginary dust off of his shirt.

Kurt locked the door behind them and they got in Blaine's car. While Blaine drove to the five-star restaurant a bit outside of Lima, Kurt asked where they were going about seven times. Blaine told him every time that it was a surprise and that he had to wait. When Blaine parked the car outside the restaurant Kurt squealed.

"This place is SO expensive Blaine. A dinner here costs the same as an apartment!" Kurt said.

"I think you are exaggerating. And you know that is not an issue. I want to spoil you tonight."

"Oh, I am not complaining." Kurt smiled.

Blaine got out of the car, put a finger up toward Kurt to make him stay in his seat while Blaine walked around the car and opened the door for him. Kurt blushed and got out, taking the hand that Blaine held out toward him. They walked inside the restaurant and were greeted by a man in a suit behind a counter.

"Andersons." Blaine said.

The man in the suit led them through the restaurant and out the back, onto a wooden deck with vines growing up the walls and through a net above. You could see the dark sky through them though. _We are going to be able to see the stars if we stay here for a couple of hours..._ They were seated at a small table in the corner of the deck. No one else was eating outside so they got to be completely alone. The man in the suit walked back into the restaurant and a waitress passed him on her way out to them. She handed them a menu each and disappeared back into the restaurant.

"That was nice." Kurt said without opening his menu.

"What was nice?" Blaine asked a bit confused.

"Referring to us as "Andersons"." Kurt answered and blushed.

"Ah, yes. Yes, It was." Blaine smiled.

"So, is that something you are planning on doing in ten years?" Kurt said with a flirty smile and opened his menu.

"No."

Kurt looked like he was about to die of sorrow.

"Oh, no honey. No, no NO! I mean that I was l planning on referring to us as "Hummels"." Blaine explained and reached his hand out to Kurt.

Kurt took it and Blaine saw a tear escape his left eye.

"Don't cry baby. I want you, forever. I want to have your name."

"Because you don't want to have a homophobe's name?" Kurt asked and wiped at is cheek with his free hand.

"Because I want everybody to know that I am yours."

Kurt squeezes Blaine's hand and smiles, another tear escaping his eye. "You've thought about that?"

"Of course I have. I want to spend my life with you. I can't imagine not seeing or talking to you every day."

Kurt just smiles and they get interrupted by the waitress.

"Are you gentlemen ready to order?" she asked.

"Not quite yet." Blaine said and gave her a dapper smile.

"Drinks perhaps?"

"We'll have two glasses of water." Kurt said and gave the waitress an equally dapper smile.

The waitress walked back into the restaurant and Blaine and Kurt actually looked at their menus. When she came back Blaine ordered duck for the both of them. _If Kurt wants duck then I will order that too, he knows what things to eat._ The waitress came back after just a minute to serve them their water.

"How come we are eating here instead of buying an apartment?" Kurt jokes as she leaves again.

"You know what day it is today." Blaine says, repeating what Kurt said a month ago.

"Our five month anniversary." Kurt said.

"Yes, which is why we are on a date today. It is also the reason why I am buying you a tasty dinner."

"Do you have something planned for after dinner?"

"Perhaps... You'll see."

After they have eaten their main course they order a piece of cheesecake to share.

"This is going straight to my hips." Kurt says and looks sadly at the cheesecake.

"I doubt it. Anything unhealthy you eat will probably go to my hips instead. You are so good with health stuff. And I'd love you even if it did."

After Kurt has taken the first bite he changes his tone.

"Oh my GaGa! I should eat this every day."  
>"That might be excessive. Then it won't be as good as when you eat it like once a year."<p>

"I doubt it. Not if I make it myself."

Blaine giggles. When they have eaten the cheesecake, the stars are visible above them.

"Look at the stars Kurt!" Blaine says and points to the sky after standing up to leave.

Kurt stands up and then looks up.

"That is Andromeda." Blaine says and points. "You showed me that."

Blaine has moved to stand beside Kurt. He interlaces their fingers and Kurt looks back down at him. He smiles wide.

"Are you ready for the next part of the date?" Blaine asks.

Kurt nods and they walk through the restaurant hand in hand out to Blaine's car.

"Do you know why I bought you sunflowers?" Blaine asks as they get onto the freeway.

"I have my suspicions."

"Remember when we were at the flower shop to buy a bouquet for Mercedes?"

"Yes?"

"You said that you didn't want to buy her roses, because everybody always gets roses…"

"And that if I ever were to get flowers from a guy I would want something special."

"Exactly, and you later told me that you love sunflowers since your mother used to plant them in your parents' garden."

"You remember that?"

"Of course I do."

"Blaine, you are such a sweet person."

Blaine blushes and stops the car outside a small, shaggy building.

"What is this place?" Kurt asks.

"You'll see." Blaine says and gets out of the car to open Kurt's door and offer him his hand again. "I haven't actually been here myself, but Jeff said it is great."

They walk inside the small wooden door between a pair of windows with colored glass and enter what looks like a library. _This is perfect!_

"A library?" Kurt asks and raises an eyebrow at Blaine.

"Library slash café." Blaine says and smiles.

They walk up to a tiny white-haired lady behind a small glass counter.

"Good evening gentlemen." the tiny lady says.

"Good evening. I would like a coffee and a piece of carrot-cake." Blaine says and smiles at the lady.

"What about you , love?" the lady says and looks at Kurt.

"Oh! I want… A coffee and maybe…" Kurt starts.

He looks at the plates with different kinds of cookies and cakes on them.

"I think I will have some carrot-cake as well."

"Excellent choice! You gentlemen sit down and I will be over with your order in a minute."

"Blaine, this place is adorable! That lady was adorable. She didn't seem bothered about us at all."

"No, she didn't. Jeff told me that she loves to see couples in love visit her café, ANY couples."

"So… How does this work?" Kurt asks and looks around at the shelves with books and the small tables spread out in between some of them.

"We sit, eat and read if we want. And talk, a lot. But I have something special planned."

They sit down at a table between two shelves of books that seem to be about history.

"Oh, oh! Tell me!" Kurt says and nudges Blaine's leg with his foot under the table.

"I'll tell you when we have gotten our coffee and cake."

"But, Blaine!" Kurt whines.

The tiny lady walks past the shelves where they are sitting.

"Ma'am, we are over here." Blaine says with a raised voice, but still very gentle.

The lady peeks in between the shelves, a tray in her fragile-looking hands.

"I'm so very sorry, gentlemen. I didn't see you there. These old eyes are starting to give up on me." she says and put their mugs and plates carefully on the table.

"Oh, we understand. Don't worry about it." Blaine says and smiles at her when she straightens up.

"What is your name, ma'am?" Kurt asks.

"My name is Lilly. What about you, fine sirs?"

"My name is Blaine and this is my boyfriend Kurt." Blaine says.  
>"It's a pleasure. I hope you enjoy." Lilly says and walks off.<p>

"Adorable." Blaine and Kurt say at the same time.

"So, will you tell me now?" Kurt asks about fifteen minutes later when they have eaten their cake and drank their coffee.

"You have no patience, Kurt. But I will tell you."

Blaine pulls a small lavender note-pad and a black pen out of his pocket. The look on Kurt's face is so puzzled that Blaine has to chuckle.

"We are writing notes." Blaine whispers.

"For what?"

"To leave in the books, for future readers."

"Oh, I like that idea. What should we write?"

"Nice things. Let's both come up with things and you will write them, because your handwriting is so much nicer than mine."

"Sure." Kurt says and grabs the pen that Blaine is holding out toward him.

"It will get better, I promise." Blaine suggests.

"That is good." Kurt says and writes it down. He puts the piece of paper aside. "What about… You don't need this book."  
>Blaine chuckles. "What book do we put that in?"<p>

"The bible or something." Kurt shrugs.

Blaine chuckles again. "How about… You are gorgeous."

After an hour or so there are about fifty different notes in a pile on the table. The boys giggle, whisper and kiss a lot while sticking the notes in the different books. They put some encouraging ones in diet-books, books about people going through hard times and books about gay teens. They put some funny ones in all kinds of books, bibles included. They put a few cute ones in books for children and books about pregnancy, parenthood or babies. When they are done they grab their mugs and plates and walk over to the lady - _Lilly_ - behind the counter. She grabs their things and put them on some kind of metal table with wheels.

"Kurt. Blaine. Did you enjoy yourselves?" she asks when she turns around to face them.

"Very much. This is a wonderful place, we will be sure to visit more times." Kurt says and smiles warmly at her.

_You are so perfect…_

"How much do I owe you?" Blaine asks and takes his wallet out.

Kurt squeezes Lilly's hand and walks over to one of the windows to look closer at the colors of the glass. Blaine pays and walks over to him.

"Ready to go home?" Blaine asks and wraps his arms around Kurt's waist.

"Which home?"

"Mine. Aunt Sarah is at work and Lorily is with her dad."

"Very ready." Kurt says and wiggles out of Blaine's grip.

When Blaine opens the door to his home Kurt steps past him and into the living room.

"So, should we watch a movie? What do you feel like doing?"Blaine calls out as he puts his keys in the bowl on the small table by the door. He gets no response so he walks into the dark living room.

"Kurt?"

When Blaine turns on the lights Kurt is shirtless on the couch.

"You! Come here." Kurt says in a husky voice.

_Damn! Oh… He is absolutely gorgeous._

Blaine starts to unbutton his pants as he walks over to Kurt who has sat up slightly on the sofa. Kurt gives him a downright filthy look and helps him tug his pants off. Blaine lies down in between Kurt's legs on the sofa.

"You are amazing." Kurt growls and graces his teeth across Blaine's neck.

"I take it you enjoyed yourself tonight?" Blaine asks and chuckles.

"I did, very much. You are the sweetest person to have ever lived. I want to hug and kiss you forever. I want us to make love and I want us to fuck. I want to marry you and have babies. I want to grow old and die together."

"Oh, that sounds like a good plan. Let's start with the kissing, shall we?" Blaine says and grabs Kurt's chin to tilt it up toward his own face, away from his own neck.

The kiss is soft, gentle and filled with love.

It turns dirty fast though, and Kurt starts to whine. Blaine shifts so he has one leg between Kurt's and one on the right side of Kurt's body. Kurt starts to move his hips, grinding his erection into Blaine's leg. Blaine starts doing the same while they kiss.

After a while Kurt pulls away. "I need these pants off, like yesterday."

Blaine laughs lightly and gets off of the couch. Kurt has his pants off before Blaine has even stood up straight.

"Oh! How do you do that?" Blaine asks in awe.

"Shut up and strip, Anderson."

Blaine removes his socks and boxers as Kurt does the same. Once again, Blaine hesitates but pulls his shirt off. _It's dark in here..._

"You look like a Greek God!" Kurt exclaims. "Bedroom perhaps?"

Blaine grabs Kurt's hand and walks toward the bedroom, but stops near the door.

"Something wrong?" Kurt asks.

Blaine pushes his body against Kurt so he is stuck between Blaine and the wall. Blaine starts kissing his shoulder and running his hands up and down Kurt's sides.

"Nothing, but I want you now. The bedroom is too far away."

Kurt shudders and then hums in agreement. He tilts his head back against the wall as Blaine kisses across his clavicle. Blaine starts to suck the skin there lightly.

"You like… Mark- marking my… My clavicle…" Kurt whispers.

"Yes, it's delicious!" Blaine says and giggles slightly.

Blaine nudges Kurt's chin with his forehead and Kurt tilts his head forward so they can kiss. Their lips dance together and their hands roam everywhere. Suddenly Blaine grabs Kurt's ass. Kurt gasps and bites down a bit too hard on Blaine's lower lip. Blaine bends down slightly to grab the back of Kurt's thighs, right about the knee and pulls. Kurt gasps again.

"Blaine!" he exclaims.

Kurt wraps his legs around Blaine's body, Blaine holding him up against the wall firmly.

"I love you." Blaine whispers in Kurt's ear, which makes Kurt shudder again.

"Please, Blaine." Kurt whines. "Let's skip the lube, just make love to me now, please!"

"I'll go really slow." Blaine says and shifts a little.

Kurt can see Blaine's muscles flex as he lets Kurt move down the wall a tiny bit while Blaine also stands up on his toes. Blaine enters Kurt really slowly, but Kurt is usually fine with very little or sometimes no lube at all. He wraps his arms around Blaine's neck and Blaine move his hands up over Kurt's back and grabs onto his shoulders. Kurt starts to moan and move against Blaine. After a while they move away from the wall without even noticing. Kurt comes first, but only a breath before Blaine. Kurt holds onto Blaine for dear life and Blaine carries him into the bedroom.

They snuggle on the bed for a while and then shower together, with the lights completely off. "It'll be more fun that way!" Kurt insisted. The boys talk while they dry off and then gather their clothes from the living room, bringing them into the bedroom. They put on their sleeping-clothes incase Blaine's family will come home before they wake up. Blaine falls asleep while being the little spoon. Kurt is awake for a few minutes after he hears Blaine start to snore silently, tracing abstract patterns on his stomach and sniffing his hair.

Two days later Kurt has brought Blaine back to the playground where they first met. Blaine is wearing one of his long-sleeved shirts once again, even if the sun in basically frying anyone who goes outside. They sit shoulder to shoulder in the shadow on a bench, holding hands.

"Blaine. I have to ask you something." Kurt says and let's go of Blaine's hand to sit on one of his legs, facing Blaine.

He wraps his hands over each other nervously on his lap. Blaine copies his sitting position.

"What babe?" Blaine says and searches for eye contact with Kurt, but he refuses to meet Blaine's eyes.

_Oh, God! What is he thinking? Please look at me!_

Kurt is silent for a while but finally looks up to meet Blaine's eyes. "What is it with you and long-sleeved shirts?"

_FUCK! _Blaine chuckles awkwardly.

"What kind of a question is that?" he says and scratches the back of his neck.

"A serious one."

"Oh, okay. Well, I like them."

"Yeah, I get that." Kurt snaps. "I like purple, but do I wear it every damn day? Or on our important dates?"

"No…"

Now Blaine is the one refusing to make eye contact.

_Why is he so angry? _"Are you angry at me?" Blaine asks.

"As a matter of fact I am. Please, enlighten me Mr. Anderson. What is so amazing about long-sleeves that you have to wear them every day?"

_Shit, shit, shit! _"They are warm, comfy and look good on me. You said so."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you can't wear anything else."

"I don't get why you are so angry, it's just clothes."

"Just clothes? You do realize who you are talking to, right?"

"I do. But I don't feel like talking to that person anymore." Blaine says and gets up from the bench.

Blaine storms off, without looking back at Kurt. _You don't understand! Why don't you understand? Why can't you see? Please just understand! Please just see! _

Blaine jogs all the way back to Sarah's apartment, grabs the mail and slams the door shut behind him, since he knows no one is home. He is so angry that he doesn't even bother locking the door. There is a red envelope on the top of the pile of mail. He sees his first name on the front and rips it open, throwing the other mail carelessly on the kitchen table. His phone vibrates in his pocket, but he ignores it.

Inside the envelope is an equally red note.

**I see you sitting with him on the bench over there right now. Next time I'll slit his throat. **

The message is written with a thick black marker. Blaine drops the note on the floor and runs into his bedroom to get his pencil-case from the wardrobe. He runs into the bathroom, not even bothering to close the door.

_Shit! That fucker! He is never touching Kurt, NEVER. I will KILL him, with my bare hands! _

Blaine sits down, ripping the scalpel out and drags his sleeve up. He pushes the scalpel into his skin, dragging it across his left arm. Blaine's hands are shaking. His eyes are filled with tears, blurring his vision. The flood of red makes him blink rapidly, so he can see properly. He is bleeding more than he has ever done before. He looks in panic at the cut and sees that it is really deep, and long. He has cut too deep.

Blaine is already feeling dizzy. He grabs a towel from the hamper on the floor next to him and wraps it around his arm, pressing it against his shirt. He can feel the warm liquid soak through the towel and his shirt. _Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm gonna die, this is it! I have to… KURT! He must know I love him. _Blaine uses his right hand to pull his phone out of his pocket. He has four missed calls from Kurt. He hits re-dial. Kurt picks up immediately.

"Blaine! I'm sorry. It isn't that big of a deal. Please come back and talk to me!"

"Kurt. I love you. I need you to know that, no matter what happens, alright?" Blaine says in a rushed voice into the phone.

"What? Blaine? What are you talking about? Are you at home? What are you doing?"

"I'm dying Kurt. I'm bleeding. But I love you. Okay?"

"WHAT?" Blaine can hear the sound of Kurt's shoes thumping against the asphalt. "I'll be right there! What happened? Talk to me, Blaine!"

"I love you." Blaine whispers into the phone.

He can feel his eyelids getting heavy and the wetness on his chest has spread across his stomach and he can feel in creeping down his legs. He looks down at the floor between his legs and the tile is covered with his blood. He gasps and closes his eyes again. _Wait, Kurt?_

"BLAINE! I WILL HANG UP AND CALL AN AMBULANCE RIGHT NOW! Okay, babe? JUST STAY AWAKE! CAN YOU HEAR ME?"  
>Blaine has never heard such panic in Kurt's voice. "I love you." Blaine whispers again.<p>

Blaine can hear the phone falling to the floor, a slight splash as it lands in the pool of his blood. He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the tub, lifting his arm into the air with all the power he has left.

"Kurt… Kurt... Kurt… I love you, Kurt. I love you. Kurt…" Blaine whispers into the air.  
>"BLAINE! WHERE ARE YOU?" Blaine can hear Kurt shouting from the living room.<p>

"Bathroom…" Blaine whispers.

"BLAINE! Oh, there you… OH MY GOD, BLAINE!" Kurt shrieks.

Blaine opens his eyes to see Kurt kneeling beside him.

"Your pants will get ruined…" Blaine mumbles.

"What did you DO?" Kurt yells and grabs Blaine's arm.

Kurt unwraps the soaked towel from Blaine's arm, seeing the deep cut. Blood is pouring in a steady stream down Blaine's arm. "OH MY GOD! WHERE IS THAT AMULANCE? Baby, look at me! I love you, keep looking at me. Don't close your eyes!"

Blaine focuses his eyes and realizes they are pointed to the floor my Kurt's knee. He lifts his head to see Kurt grabbing another towel off of the hanger on the wall. Kurt wraps it around Blaine's arm, lifts it high into the air and presses hard with both of his hands.

"Tell Lorily I love her. But, Kurt… Kurt, I love you. Never forget that." Blaine whispers and smiles at Kurt.

"Stop that! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! LOOK AT ME! Blaine, I will not tell her! You will do that yourself! Keep looking at me. Babe, babe!"

Blaine can hear the ambulance outside.

"They are here!" Kurt exclaims. "IN HERE! THE BATHROOM!" he shouts at the paramedics.

Blaine hears boots against the floor of the apartment.

"Can I close my eyes now, Kurt?"

"NO! Look at me!"

Two medics storm in and grab Blaine. He can feel it, but it is just a huge blur in his eyes.

"Kurt… I love you." he whispers before everything goes black.

"BLAINE! Blaine!"

Blaine opens his eyes. He can see the metal ceiling of the ambulance and hear the sirens. He tilts his head slightly and catches sight of Kurt. _He is gorgeous… _Blaine blinks a few times. Kurt has blood on his shirt and in his hair. Red and clear liquids are smeared across his face. Blaine realizes there is warmth on his cheeks. Kurt is holding Blaine's face with both of his blood-covered hands.

"Kurt… Am I in heaven?"

"No, babe. You blacked out for a while, please look at me!"

Blaine realizes he is watching the red-stained fabric of Kurt's pants. He lifts his head again.

"They are giving you blood right now. Stay calm and awake. Look at me!" Kurt shouts.

Blaine opens his eyes again.

"I love you." he whispers again.

"I love you too, please stay with me!"

_His tears are streaming even faster than my blood did…_

"Please don't cry baby, I love you." Blaine says, voice a bit stronger.

Blaine once again wakes up to the beep of a monitor. He doesn't open his eyes. _I'm alive. Oh God, I'm not dead! Kurt…_

"Kurt?..."

"Oh, dear God! Blaine, baby!" Blaine hears Kurt voice.

He feels warm hands on his cheeks. Blaine opens his eyes to see Kurt's now clean face, wet with tears.

"You scared me so much! I don't know what I would have done without you!" Kurt rambles and presses his forehead against Blaine's, keeping his hands on Blaine's cheeks. "Sarah is on her way. I didn't tell her what you did. But we can talk about that later. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU!"

Kurt showers Blaine's face with tiny kisses. Blaine smiles weakly.  
>"I love you too."<p>

Sarah arrives when Blaine has fallen asleep again.

"He cut his wrist open. It looked like he has done it many times before. There were so many lines…" Kurt whispers to Sarah in the corner of the room, where they are seated in a pair of chairs.

"Oh, dear…"

"They gave him blood and stitched his arm up. He will be fine." Kurt continued.

"He has said nothing to you about this? That is so like him, bottling everything up. I'll get him into therapy. Don't cry, Kurt."

Blaine listens silently. He can feel a tear slide down his cheek.

Blaine gets out of the hospital the next day and Sarah drives him home. She has talked to Lorily's dad so that he will have her for another day. During the car-ride Sarah informs Blaine that he is going to therapy and that he can talk to her about anything, anytime. Blaine sits silently in the back seat, his not bandaged hand in one of Kurt's.

"I won't force you to talk to me, though. But you need to talk to someone, Blaine." Sarah says and looks at him in the rearview-mirror. Blaine nods.

When they get back to the apartment Blaine stops on his way to his bedroom, Kurt still holding his hand.

"Should I clean the bathroom?" Blaine calls out to Sarah who is in the kitchen.

"No, no honey. I have a professional coming over in about an hour to do that. You shouldn't even look inside there."

Blaine looks at Kurt who has said nothing for a long while. His pale face looks even paler and it has a faint tint of green.

"Babe, are you okay?" Blaine asks Kurt, who is looking at toward the bathroom door.

"No. No, I'm not. But let's go to your bedroom and talk for a while, or snuggle or something."

"Boys… Come here." Sarah calls from the kitchen.

The boys look at each other in confusion then walk into the kitchen. Blaine sees that Sarah is holding the red note Blaine had gotten. _Crap!_

"What the hell is this?" she asks and gives Blaine a serious but frightened look.

Blaine looks at his toes. "I got that right before I… Went into the bathroom. I panicked."

"What is it? What does it say?" Kurt asks and let's go of Blaine's hand to step over to Sarah and read the note.

"Honey, maybe you shouldn't read this…" Sarah protests but Kurt has already read it. He stiffens.

"Kurt, honey. Don't worry about this. I'm sure the police can do something. There must be prints on this or something. They'll get him." Sarah rambles and puts the note gingerly on the table.

"Kurt, let's go." Blaine says and holds his hand out toward Kurt.

Kurt grabs it and they walk silently toward the bedroom. Kurt stares intently at the ceiling when they pass the bathroom, but Blaine peeks through the slightly open door and he can see the pool of blood on the gray tile. Blaine closes the door behind them when they reach his bedroom. Blaine lies down on his back on top of the covers. Kurt snuggles up to his side and puts his hand on Blaine's hipbone jutting out from the sweatpants Sarah had brought to him in the hospital.

"I'm not worried about the note." Kurt breaks the silence.

"I am." Blaine states.

"They'll get him, and put him in jail. We will avoid the playground and we'll move far away when we finish school."

"Yeah…" is all Blaine can think of to say in response.

They lay silent for a while. Blaine can feel the fabric of his white t-shirt get wet on his chest. Kurt sniffles.

"Why didn't you talk to me, Blaine?"

"It's complicated."

Kurt grabs Blaine's bandaged arm and pulls it from Blaine's side up to rest on his stomach. Lots of lines are visible above where the bandage stops about mid-lower arm. Kurt brushes his thumb across them. "I know it is. But did you think I wouldn't listen, wouldn't care?"

"I know you would have. But… I just… One of the reasons I have been doing this to my arm…"

"To yourself."

"To myself… Is that I didn't want to bother anyone else with my problems."

"That is stupid."

"I know, Kurt."

"Do you not want to talk to me?"

"I do, Kurt. I'll tell you anything you want to know. I just… Don't know what to say, where to start…"  
>"You said one of the reasons… What are the others?"<p>

"Sometimes I do it because I am angry or sad. Sometimes because I am lonely or scared. Sometimes I do it because I want someone to notice, to care. Sometimes I do it to punish myself. Sometimes because I don't know what else to do with my feelings. Sometimes I do it because I panic, like this time… But sometimes I need to do it to calm down or to feel that I am still alive."

"Did you ever do it because you actually want to die?" Kurt asks silently after a moment's consideration.

"In the beginning I thought that was the reason, but I later realized it wasn't. After a while I did actually do it because of that. But since I met you I have wanted nothing else than to live."

Kurt smiles weakly at that. He wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand and then continues to rub his thumb across Blaine's arm.

"How long have you been doing this?" Kurt asks, his voice just above a whisper.

"I started when I was fourteen."

Blaine hears Kurt try to hide his gasp. They are silent for a long while.

"Blaine… Why are some lines crossing the other ones?"

"These ones…" Blaine points with his other hand at the faded lines going along his arm. "I made these for you…"

Kurt sits up. "What do you mean "for me"?"

"When I first met you, you were going through a really tough time. I felt pain for you, with you…"

"Have you been doing this the whole time we've been together?"

"I stopped when we started dating. Began again about three months in, after the stabbing…"

"Do you think the therapist will help?"

"I do. I have some things I need to get off my chest. And now I can talk to you if I feel the need to… make lines..."

Kurt lays down again. "Where did you get that scalpel, Blaine?"

"I took it from my dad, back when I lived there. I hid it in a pencil case, on the top shelf of my wardrobe so Lorily wouldn't find it."

"I get the long-sleeved shirts now…" Kurt says after a few minutes of silence.

Blaine chuckles. "Yeah. I will stop wearing them around you if you are still bothered about it."

"Wear whatever you are comfortable with…"  
>"I can continue to wear them, since I assume you don't want to see the lines..."<br>"I don't particularly want to, but I like your arms."

"I'll still wear long sleeves to school though."

There is a knock on the door. "Boys, do you want pizza for dinner?" Sarah asks as she peeks her head into the room.

"We do." Blaine says.

The police find Blaine's father's fingerprints on the envelope and note. They put him in jail for threatening another person's life.

Kurt follows Blaine to the hospital to remove the stitches a few weeks later. He also comes with him to some of his meetings with the therapist.

Blaine never cuts himself again.

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><p><strong>Message: I really hope you enjoyed my first story. I would love some reviews so I know what to work on for my next story (that I have already started on). Thank you for reading! 3<strong>


	6. Relapse

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, any of their characters or anything that can be related to something that exists in the real world.

**Warnings:** Vague mentions of selfharm and occasional swearing.

**Author's notes: **SURPRISE! Sneaky extra-chapter up in here! xD So, when I posted the last chapter of this story back in August I got a few comments about you wanting to know more about what happened later in this verse. So finally I wrote some more. I hope you like it! ^^

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><p><strong>Oh Glory<strong>

Chapter 6 - Relapse

"Blaine?" Kurt called into their shared apartment in New York. He put his suitcase down by the front door and hung his jacket on the wall. "You home, honey?"

Kurt searched the living room and kitchen for his husband, but he was nowhere to be found. On the kitchen table however, lay an opened envelope and a single piece of paper. Kurt leaned forward and read the handwritten text on the page.

_Dear Blaine._  
><em>I know the date for your father's prison release is approaching, and I really hope you aren't obsessing about it. You, Kurt and Benji are completely safe. The restraining order is still in place both for you and Kurt, as is the additional one for Benjamin and his school. You are safe, you understand?<em>  
><em>And if you are obsessing (which I know you are, and I completely understand that) then TALK TO KURT. Okay? Benji needs both his dads.<em>  
><em>Lorily says hi, and that she's flying over in June when her college lets out for the summer.<em>  
><em>We both love you all. And we miss you incredibly much.<em>  
><em>Love, auntie Sarah.<em>

"I forgot. Fuck!" Kurt hissed and ran toward their bedroom. "Blaine! Where are you?"

The bedroom was empty, but their wardrobe was slightly ajar.

"BLAINE!" Kurt shouted and ran toward the bathroom, his heart pounding and flashes of bloody tiles crossing his mind.

He entered their bathroom and found Blaine sitting in the bathtub, his forehead against his bent knees and his left arm stretched out over the edge, his hand in a tight fist.

"Blaine, honey." Kurt breathed and kneeled by the bathtub.

Blaine had obviously scratched his arm, since it was red and a little swollen. No crimson lines however, only the old white ones that had healed a long time ago.

"Talk to me." Kurt said and closed his trembling hands around Blaine's fist, making it loosen.

Blaine kept his forehead against his knees, not acknowledging Kurt's presence except a low whine. "It's today, Kurt." he whispered into the fabric of his old sweatpants.

"I know, babe. But I completely forgot until I saw Sarah's letter." Kurt smoothed one of his thumbs along the back of Blaine's hand. "Are you okay?"

"No." Blaine replied instantly. "Get that scalpel away from me. Fast."

"What?" Kurt jerked and his eyes flew around the room, stopping on the scalpel and Blaine's bloodstained old pencil case on the floor beside the tub. "You kept those?" he shrieked and grabbed them. Kurt was completely still for a second before running into the kitchen and throwing the items in the trash.

Blaine was in the exact same position when he returned to the bathroom with tears in his eyes. "You hid those from me for almost fifteen years?"

"Yes." Blaine mumbled. "Sorry."

Kurt walked up to the bathroom and stepped inside, sitting down facing Blaine. "Babe, look at me."

Blaine lifted his head to lean his chin against his right knee.

"Good." Kurt said. "Now, please talk to me. Please?"

"When you fell asleep that night I went into the bathroom and got them." Kurt didn't need to ask what day Blaine was talking about. "I don't know why, but I saved them." Blaine looked at Kurt's feet.

"Blaine, look at me." Blaine lifted his gaze to Kurt's wet eyes, so Kurt continued. "We have been safe for fourteen years. We ARE safe." He gently grabbed Blaine's arm that was still dangling over the edge of the tub and pulled it closer to himself. He placed a feather soft kiss to the thickest scar on Blaine's wrist.

"It's evening." Blaine said dejectedly. "He should be out by now."

"Come with me." Kurt stood and stepped out of the bathtub, reaching his arm out for Blaine. Blaine grabbed his hand and let him help him step out. He led Blaine into the bedroom and motioned for him to lie down on the bed. Blaine sat down on the edge and Kurt crawled onto the bed, kneeling behind him. He leaned forward and hugged Blaine from behind, kissing the side of his head. "He will never come close to us. Ever. We are safe. Benji is safe." Kurt leaned back again and started massaging Blaine's shoulders through his thin t-shirt. "Now will you please say something?"

"Remember what he said during the trial?"

"Just as vividly as you do."

"Remember when we saw my mother at the store in Columbus?"

"Where are you going with this?"

"I don't know. It just all came back to me."

Kurt pulled on Blaine's shoulders and laid down on the bed, waiting for Blaine to join him. He did, nestling in under Kurt's arm, resting his head on his chest. Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine's cropped-short curls and leaned his cheek against his forehead. "Do you remember when we graduated?"

"Yes."

"And when your dad went to jail? When we moved to New York? When you got your job? Our wedding? When we found a surrogate? When we first saw Benji's curly little head with those huge blue eyes and you said he looked like an actual mix of the two of us? Benji's first steps? The first time he said "daddy"?"

Kurt felt Blaine smile against his chest.

"Of course I do." Blaine said and looked up at him.

"And all those times when I found you in the bathroom ready to slice your arm open, but you never did?"

"Because you stopped me." Blaine mumbled.

"No. More than once you said you had sat there for hours, and you still didn't do it. You are too strong. And all the times you told me "Kurt, my arm is itching. Will you hold me and talk for a while?"? That was you, Blaine, being strong." Kurt kissed Blaine's pointy eyebrow and smiled.

Blaine craned his neck and kissed Kurt slowly. "We're safe." he mumbled between kisses.

"Daddies!" came a yell from the front door before it slammed shut.

Kurt and Blaine heard small footsteps pad through the apartment and then their son stuck his head into the room.

"There you are, daddy. I made you something." Benji walked up to the bed and picked something out of his blue backpack before climbing onto the bed and sitting down on Blaine's stomach.

"I told Benji last week that he should make you something at daycare because you would probably be sad today." Kurt said as he remembered. "What did you make, honey?"

The curly-headed boy held out a colorful bracelet toward Blaine. "There you go daddy. Cu- cor- courage." he smiled so wide his dimples were clearly visible.

Blaine turned the see-through cord with rainbow beads and black letter-beads over in his hand. "Thank you so much, Benji. Will you help me put it on?"

"Sure." the five-year old chirped and helped Blaine put it around his left wrist. "Daddy, did you get a sunburn?"

"No, baby. I just itched my arm, that's why it's red." Blaine explained.

Their son leaned forward and kissed Blaine's arm a few times. "Better?"

Blaine chuckled. "A lot." He inched away from Kurt, just far enough for Benji to fit between them. "Now come here and cuddle with me and Papa. We'll all take a nap before dinner."

"Yay!" Benji exclaimed and snuggled down between them.

Blaine moved his arm over Benji and rested his hand on Kurt's side. Kurt wrapped his arm tight around their son and nuzzled his nose into the boy's dark hair. Blaine kissed the tip of Benji's freckled little nose and sighed blissfully.

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><p><strong>THE VERY END<strong>

**Author's note:** So I really hope this was more along the lines of what you guys had in mind when wanting more.  
>I realized when re-reading the first 5 chapters how much I've developed as a writer these past months (and how much I REALLY want to rewrite the first 5 chapters because they seem so sucky to me now. xD).<br>Please leave a review to let me know if you liked this chapter. And if this wasn't at all what you wanted, tell me so I can write some more, the right way.  
>Anyway... Thank you all SO MUCH for reading. I love you all!<p> 


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